A Breach of Reverence

In A Nutshell

2011-04-21T23:39:00.001-06:00

Pretending to know things that we do not know is not an act of responsibility. Likewise, leaving an organization when we discover that its foundational claims are bunk is absolutely not the same as "quitting responsibility". Personal integrity carries a price, and leaving an organization that is perpetuated and motivated by powerful, irrational convictions is not for the faint of heart, nor does it demonstrate a lack of personal integrity.

“Did you pray with full intent?”

2010-03-24T23:40:00.003-06:00

“Did you pray with full intent? Did you actually want an answer? Did you go down on your knees to pray? I'd try doing these things before saying that you didn't feel anything since I know if you do then you will feel that it is true.”

It’s curious how loaded words like “full intent” and “actually” can be used in the context of your comment to imply that the other person is not sincere enough. I could just as ineffectively make the equivalent comment:

“Did you *actually* want the truth, or did you just want an answer? Did you apply your complete awareness with *full intent*? I’d try doing these things before saying you didn’t understand anything since I know that if you do you will see that it is true.”

(For the record, I never said “I didn’t feel anything.” I would actually claim the opposite. There is much to be felt in any religion. But these feelings are not exclusive to any one religion, and it is astounding to claim that they are exclusive to religion at all.)

It is not some sort of insincere or selfish desire to believe what we want that leads many of us past religion. It is, in fact, the opposite. What we discover is often unexpected and/or upsetting, but at the same time, more plausible. When religion prevents outmoded understandings from being replaced with more plausible and more functional understandings, we are placed in a difficult dilemma: (1) Risk the potentially painful consequences (psychological or otherwise) of questioning our religion or (2) find a way to put our questions back on the self (suspend our incredulity).

Susceptibility to religious affect does not make one mindless or somehow less human. I could iterate a thousand times that I know what it feels like to believe in this church and how, from within that belief structure, it does not feel like manipulation. When you believe in it, it feels as though it would have to be some kind of perfect fraud in order to not be true. I just happened to unwittingly contemplate two key questions to their ultimate (and dare I say, unexpectedly euphoric) extent: (1) If this church isn’t what it claims--if it is the perfect fraud, would I want to know and (2) how would I be able to know?

But to answer your questions: yes, yes, and yes.

If this church is the perfect fraud, would you want to know? Would the tools and environment offered by this church allow you to know?

Describing My Disaffection Again

2010-01-18T01:44:00.030-07:00

It’s sort of ironic that Seminary, of all things, introduced me to some of the finer points of philosophy. I remember getting a note card sized handout with a list of philosophy terms and their basic definitions. The one that stuck with me the most was "Epistemology: How do we know what we know?" It would be a while before I ran into the classical epistemological Venn diagram, and even then, my internal LDS filter (which was running on something like autopilot) would not have been phased by something so simple.

It was the consistently resurfacing definition and question, "How do we know what we know?"—that and a whole lot of idealism injected by meaningful people (many of whom happened to be church members)—that guided me out. Idealism that kept me asking things like:

"Wait, how are unconventional sexuality and gender roles immoral[?]... because no person or thing has convincingly explained this to me yet? Why were certain races (those bearing the “mark of Cain”) punished for some “provisional” period of time? But no, really, why is the ability to understand these sorts of things not a part of who I am? Furthermore, why am I engineered with a tendency to recognize just how wrong this (church history, narcissistic self-righteousness, shunning of critical thought) is becoming to me? Why do you all seem more and more like these self-righteous Zoramites you insist on warning me about?"

Normally, I would only ask one or two of these questions at a time. It was like each question or idea was a single book off of a shelf. I would read a few pages, ponder, and put the question/curiosity back. Even though the attempted answers were ineffectual, they were merely singular questions. It didn’t require a huge amount of cognitive dissonance to put them back on the shelf. I could always revisit them later.

Eventually, the questions became so numerous and constant that it was as if I had books (thoughts) freely scattered on every surface. I was an unwitting researcher on the verge of a most important discovery. My thoughts began to congeal and interconnect, and I could not continue to fit them back on the shelf, but that began to no longer matter because the closer I got to a unified explanation, the less I began to worry about the consequences of a cluttered workspace. If what I was about to discover was true, a mess of books and papers was the least of my concern.

It was with that earnestness that I decided to look into the temple endowment ceremony. At that time, making the bold decision to read it seemed to require my entire accumulation of ideas and convictions (the beginnings of an expanded paradigm). This is because I had previously convinced myself that reading the ceremony in a state of alleged unworthiness would have been "unthinkable," and perhaps even unforgivable. However, if what I was about to discover was true, a mess of self-perpetuated beliefs would, again, be the least of my concern.

I found the temple ceremonies and their permutations throughout church history to be disturbing (I mean disturbing in the sense that a part of me wasn't quite expecting them to be so hollow and meaningless—so shockingly able to take back years of vain attempts to connect the LDS church with reality). I breathed out one last prayer that night. I don't remember exactly what I said, but it could have easily gone something like this:

"Dear Heavenly Father, I accidentally know too much now, and I think I've realized that several major pieces in the Plan of Salvation don't fit. I certainly wasn’t expecting this turn of events, and I don’t even know why I’m talking to you when it’s as good as obvious that I can’t talk to something that doesn’t exis... "

I reached a fulcrum that night. In one prayer, I went from trying to convince myself that I was talking to a god to realizing that I was talking only to myself. It took a couple of years to begin to find words to explain the madness of it.

Even still, I continue to find new ways to appreciate life. I aim to keep it that way.

Je Regrette

2009-12-13T17:01:00.004-07:00

I apologize for contributing to world suck, and I promise I will try to do better next time.

Irreverence - Deconstrucing a Mormon Testimony

2009-01-01T13:32:00.039-07:00

Human Rights Revisited: My Letter to the Mormon Church Concerning California's Proposition 8

2008-10-14T23:17:00.023-06:00

I haven't added anything new for a while, but I feel this deserves attention--more attention than I alone can give it.

The LDS Church Presidency has yet again decided to step in with its bigoted political agenda. They have swayed their members to contribute a large sum of time and resources to the "Yes on proposition 8" campaign that seeks to take away the LGBT community's marriage rights.

The following is my response. This response will be hand delivered this Friday, with over 200 letters submitted to the Signing for Something petition, to church headquarters in Salt Lake City. If you would like your name to appear on the delivered petition, the cut off time is October 15, 10:00 am Mountain Time. However, if you have missed the cut off, it certainly won't hurt to sign the petition late.

(Yes I am aware that this letter copies parts of an earlier entry. It's just that I kind of realized that my previous thoughts were a good starting point.)

To the Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints,

I wish to express my concerns over the church presidency’s recent actions against the human rights of the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community. I’m afraid that I must apologize to those offended by the dehumanizing tone that I am about to take towards the church, but given that church’s leadership has taken to dehumanizing actual human beings, I do not feel moved to offer anything but an opposing perspective. I must also apologize for not giving credence to the so-called virtue of faith, but please understand that my indignation has been provoked by the use of faith in excusing, among other atrocities throughout history, fanatic prejudice.

You see, I’d like to believe that I would have been on the liberal side of the civil rights movement of the 50s and 60s. However, if I was raised as a member of the LDS congregation then, I would have been as obtuse as much of the church’s current membership. That the church today chooses to impose its notion that the entire LGBT community is undeserving of equal rights is an insult to human dignity.

(As a side note, I do, in every truly moral sense, regret referring to our friends and family that are gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender as a separate community. This is because they are not separate. They are human. They are us. When we sting them with reckless and unfounded intolerance, we are in fact stinging ourselves. Church officials are inflicting pain on us—all of us. No amount of finger pointing or faith will make this appropriate.)

When I was a believing member of the LDS church, I was no better—unquestioningly accepting the church’s position on gender identity and sexuality. “The prophet had spoken, the thinking had been done.” It infuriates me now, to know that I was used as a passive tool of discrimination and hate. Given the chance, the church could have easily swayed me into extending its harmful perspective. It was ultimately this culture of blind narcissism and bigotry that drove me to truly challenge the church’s sensibility, let alone credibility. I quickly learned that skepticism and irreverence are crucial tools for discerning truth and making moral decisions. Now that my mind is free to think critically, I know that I will never risk becoming the equivalent of a civil rights era racist again. Can church leaders say the same for themselves?

Even still, while I was an active member of the church, I was under the impression that the church’s modern political stance was to dictate prejudice towards the worthiness and privileges of only its own LGBT members (which is by itself contemptible). Why then does the church seek to take away rights from the entire LGBT community? Regardless of how voters are influenced over the issue of gay marriage, the church will still be permitted to deny a temple marriage to anyone it wishes. I do not see how this issue over civil marriage concerns the church and what business the church has in squandering its members’ time and resources to push its political agenda.

Perhaps the first presidency is terrified that if gay marriage becomes legal, more and more of the church's membership will begin to see and accept gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transsexuals for who they are. Perhaps they are afraid that members will come to realize that anything called a “Plan of Happiness” has no room for prejudice.

Signing for Something,
Mason

Done

2008-06-08T16:59:00.008-06:00

There is definitely a lot more to my recovery than I have written here. There has been plenty of discovery and embarrassment. Some of my earlier writing confesses a hint of schizotypal thinking. It took a terrible bout of nihilism to get everything out of my system and come to terms with myself and everything. I have not begun to write my thoughts and experiences from this, but this is not the proper forum for them. I am long finished using an exmormon platform to express my ideas.

I'm closing off many posts that are a bit "out there", too personal, or that are potentially incriminating. I may edit and reopen some, but probably few.

And in case you're wondering where I stand now. I celebrate, praise, and revel in the progress of science, free thought, and of mankind's graduation from religion. In short, I am Atheist.

Signing off,
Mason

Keepin' it real

And I almost forgot. Thanks to everyone in the exmormon community, especially you bloggers.

Explaining My Disaffection to a Never Mormon

2008-05-23T17:20:00.005-06:00

In October last year, I briefly explained my disaffection to an old friend. This is what I wrote.

I didn't exactly "decide" to leave the so-called church. Disaffection was more or less inevitable. I had become highly disillusioned after several years of observing its cultural expression of narcissism (you know, the bigotry and all that).

A few months before I left, I was pushing all kinds of epistemological questions (the ones they apparently don't teach you about in a small town). It felt surprisingly good, so I kept pushing. I eliminated most of the cult mind control. I stopped going to church. Then I stopped praying. I finally reached a point where I felt the need to go "all in".

The last obstacle remaining was information control. To challenge this, I spent an evening reading all kinds of exmormon material. I came across the Mormon temple endowment ritual. Everything about it was... well, vain, pointless, and a little disturbing. It turns out that most of it was stolen from the Free Masons.

I added that piece of information to the other things I was actively questioning about mormonism (including epistemology, polygamy, racism, bigotry, and misogyny). It was more than enough to break the dam. I say dam because it hit me like a deluge. I hadn't felt more liberated, euphoric, or fearless in my life. I had the biggest, stupidest smile on my face for weeks. I even got dizzy with joy at times, like I was going to faint.

Sensations Experienced: Floating and Cognitive Dissonance

2007-07-23T00:21:00.003-06:00

I will finally lull away in a moment of peace and contentment when an aporetic neuron misfires in my overactive brain. All of my emotional attachments jumble and intermix yet again. My mind's lucidity is challenged as I frantically skim the history of my moods and experiences, searching for new concepts out of a storm where no one answer seems more correct than the others. Uncertainty, the rudest of awakeners, faces me, and I cannot direct myself to flee from its demoralizing presence. Attractive and devastating, we are now eternally intertwined. Damn this live reprogramming!

Sensations Experienced: Apostrophe

2007-01-12T23:38:00.002-07:00

For years you drenched me in it—your embryonic deceit. You fed me the devices of fear and groomed me for torture. You corroded what was meant to be MY life. You showed me the ease of defeat. I was your vainglorious martyr.

Now, I live as a doppelganger. No matter how much I push, how much I scream, how much I fight, no matter how far I run, you are always there, stealing my reflection. You are in the variables of circumstance I cannot control. I am not so mismatched, but you make singularity my curse, whispering away all that matters, brutalizing me from the core. You are the nightmare in my dreamscape.

Resignation

2007-01-08T20:00:00.001-07:00

No less than an hour ago, I made it final. I can feel my priesthood powers diminishing already as my resignation letter waits exultantly in the outgoing mailbox outside of my apartment. Using the excellent sample letter provided by MormonNoMore.com, I drafted my own letter. Though no one of significance in Salt Lake is likely to read it, I gave the church a message of its worth to me:

“This insensible, fairytale organization of vain sacrifice has ceased to be of service to me. I can no longer will myself to deliberately invest my conviction in the establishment of disparaging lies, nor do I possess the prospective wherewithal to desire such limitations in the future. Hence, I am the sole proprietor of my mind and agency, and no religion or religious figurehead will maintain otherwise.”

Truth, Long Overdue

2006-12-22T21:29:00.001-07:00

To find happiness is to prefer to believe that there is a reason for being happy. It is a leap of faith if you will, toward what we hope is an absolute, a movement toward what we wish to be an answer (and who is to say that it isn’t).

It may seem like the only option is to believe, but in what exactly? The existence of meaning? The possibility of transcending uncertainty? Do we make purpose out of ourselves, the ones we care about, altruism, strength of will, strength of reason? If a belief fails to serve its host, then that host will inevitably resume the search for a belief that it perceives to be more worthy, so does it matter where faith is vested so long as it serves the purposes of its host?

Perhaps dysphoria is just the influence of diminishing faith. The dysphoria remains until the belief is either fed or abandoned. Abandonment rewards us with euphoric freedom, while the former heads a path that can lead to blissful ignorance. If we choose to abandon a belief, desire will move us toward another belief, but desire is no less dubious than its purveyors.

I, myself, am a puppeteer, but there is no puppet. There is only what others perceive of me. They invent an illusory puppet. While I am merely testing the rules of the environment which I inhabit, they may try to see someone who is timid or someone who is boisterous, someone sane or someone delusional. Perhaps compartmentalizing others feeds a belief of theirs in some way, but hasty classification using unfit criteria tends to breed cognitive limitations.

I treat others with respect so that I might associate with them easily. I wish to associate with others easily because they might have some truth or tool for finding truth. I will play their games and learn from them. As a result, I may allow sentiments, both inborn and learned, to convolute my judgment. I may let altruism extend beyond its useful purposes to get the better of me, thus turning me into a martyr. Jealousy may rise out of a lingering sentiment that people should not behave arrogantly. An instinctive need for survival and pleasure may affect my responses to stimuli, turning the development of my cognition in unwanted directions.

The truth is, I don’t know.

And perhaps I will meet you one day in a bookstore, at school, or on a plane. If you can see me eye to eye on the message I am trying to convey and somehow communicate it, then perhaps we can share at least one tranquil moment of mutual appreciation for lucidity. Perhaps we can share more.

Sensations Experienced: Love

2006-08-20T16:26:00.002-06:00

Love, if that’s the word for it, is what you feel when you want more than anything to open up and give of yourself. The feeling spreads throughout your entire body. It feels as though you truly comprehend the purpose of existence. You see and love the beauty in every facet of every living thing. You completely cherish the beauty in every imperfection. It feels like a deluge of energy from a never ending source. It fills your frame so fast and so much that you get choked up, your heart swells, and you begin to tremble. The feeling grows and grows as you want more and more to give the feeling to everyone and everything around you.

Tears begin to flow when the feeling grows stronger. You cry because the internal commotion is more potent than the sensation of realizing the perfect dream has come true. Every fantasy you have ever played out in your mind is overshadowed by a limitless source of true happiness. The longer you are overwhelmed, the more you feel like you could collapse, but you don’t. You can see through all the barriers of fear and hate that we as human beings put up.

It’s a feeling to live by. There’s nothing to lose because of what you gain in extending it to others. Now, if only we could learn to stop exploiting it, fearing it, and playing it like it’s a game.

Deus Ex Machina

2006-08-20T15:48:00.003-06:00

In ancient Greek theatre, actors playing as gods were lowered onto a stage using a wooden crane. They would enter the plot as a way of fixing seemingly impossible problems. As a member of the church, I spent far too much time expecting the unexpected plot change. Maybe somebody would care enough to react to my apparent downward spiral, or maybe I would die tragically young in a terrible accident. Whatever it was, I was waiting. Waiting makes for a pitiful existence. It is reliance on miracles that causes people to lose hope. “Why, oh why can’t I have just this one miracle? Am I not entitled?”

Think about a time when you were the unexpected delivering force. You may have whisked an animal out of harms way and cradled it in your arms to comfort it. You may have stepped in and helped somebody in dire need. If you are recipient of such an unexpected arbitration, it can feel like a gift from some supernatural force. It’s no wonder that people say God is watching out for them.

Miracles are not indicative of a divine presence.

Sensations Experienced: Tremors

2006-08-18T17:23:00.005-06:00

Awake too late I tremble, my body unable to absorb the remedy. A book of fiction in my hands, that I might escape reality. My eyes tracing the width of the page, back and forth, but the only words I read are the words placed in my hands. A lamp is on, not to scare away the monsters. Out of a shattered trance I fade, losing its balmy embrace. The words bring no more comfort.

Information Control

2006-07-23T22:18:00.003-06:00

Sometimes I wonder if nature planned for humanity to evolve into this. Give superior cognitive abilities, nimble appendages, and a well-equipped vocal system to a species, and before you know it, that species will form advanced societies, fabricate some bizarre beliefs about higher beings, and overpopulate and exhaust the planet in their names.

It’s taught that the advent of the printing press elicited one of the most pivotal turning points in human history. A more efficient means of distributing information and knowledge made the age of enlightenment and subsequent ages of advancement possible. It’s sad that, although centuries have passed, much of humanity is still living and thinking in the dark ages.

Until only a couple of decades ago, the church had a very tight control over what information its members could access. Now, the Internet allows devastating information to be dispersed further and faster than ever possible. It’s almost comical how the church doesn’t bother to widely and specifically address the “dangers” of criticism that is available on the Internet. The quorum of the twelve is busy naively warning members about Internet porn while the free flow of knowledge is undermining everything.

Information control is a key element of any cult’s power. The church is getting careless and losing its grip on that control. I guess that’s what happens when you give the dispensation of the fullness of times to a bunch of fogies. It must have something to do with technology and the generational gap.

I guess the church’s divine revelation as a means of getting information just doesn’t measure up to what the rest of humankind uses.

(This message was brought to you by net neutrality.)

Irreverence

2006-07-10T00:35:00.000-06:00

“Irreverence is a most necessary ingredient of religion. Not to speak of its importance in philosophy. Irreverence is the only way left to us for testing our universe.”

Children of Dune -Frank Herbert

It felt so good when I finally began challenging the church. Remarks made against Mormonism and religion in general stuck with me because they made sense. Watching self-righteous members foolishly retaliate made me grin. (Well done, liberalism, you brought the free thinker out in me.) It’s amazing how much I didn’t question things before that—things with such a high cost that I should have probed them relentlessly and constantly. For all the sacrifices church members are compelled to make, nothing should be beyond questioning.

It is impossible for one to know if a thing is unworthy of reverence if one is not willing to stop revering it unconditionally. Complete reverence is, in truth, complete surrender. Few members have an absolute reverence, but the church does not ask its members to surrender everything. The church only steals what it needs. It takes money and manpower from members and, in return, deprives them of their full potential without their consent. The church gets away with it because members aren't allowed to question its legitimacy.

The church is capable of doing many benevolent things, but daring to question such an organization is not indicative of callousness. An ideally altruistic organization would never demand veneration, and would even understand the dangerous implications of absolute loyalty. It is in everyone’s best interest to question all individuals, organizations, and societies.

Reverence gives us a means to convey deep respect and admiration, but unconditional reverence is a thing for ancient empires and cults.

Human Rights

2006-06-21T12:22:00.002-06:00

I like to think that I would have been on the liberal side of the civil rights movement of the 50s and 60s. However, if I was a Mormon then, I probably would have been as obtuse as the rest of the church’s population.

Even now, the church continues to instigate a world of bigotry. When I was a true believing Mormon, I was no better, unquestioningly accepting the church’s position on gender roles and homosexuality. It infuriates me to know that I was being used as a tool of discrimination and hate.

The first presidency has very recently made its current political stance very clear. The first presidency (and thus, the church) believes that gays and lesbians, even those outside of the church, should not have the same human rights that heterosexuals do.

Letter from First Presidency of the Church to Church Leaders in the United States

We are informed that the United States Senate will on June 6, 2006, vote on an amendment to the Federal constitution designed to protect the traditional institution of marriage.

We, as the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, have repeatedly set forth our position that the marriage of a man and a woman is the only acceptable marriage relationship.

In 1995 we issued a Proclamation to the World on this matter, and have repeatedly reaffirmed that position.

In that proclamation we said: "We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society."

We urge our members to express themselves on this urgent matter to their elected representatives in the Senate.

I was under the impression that the church’s modern political stance was only to interfere with the rights and privileges of its members, not everyone. Gordon needs to get a grip and stop perpetuating intolerance. Why should the church consider civil marriages sacred if they don’t hold any value in the Mormon religion?

As a side note, I went to the gay pride festival in Boise last Saturday with my sister and her friend. I actually enjoyed it *gasp*. I saw a total of two protestors. Both had similar signs calling everyone to repentance in the name of Jesus. They were the most miserable looking people I had seen all day.

I now have a bumper sticker that reads, “I’m Straight, Not Narrow,” which I now display defiantly. Now that my mind is free to think critically, I can say with relative certainty that I will never become the equivalent of a civil rights era racist again.

Restlessness

2006-06-19T15:54:00.000-06:00

Feeling markedly overwrought by the trap my family is in, I paced back and forth with a restless need to act. I was blown away by how drastically things have changed for me in such a short time span. I knew it was going to be one of those restless nights. The driving need to act I experienced that night was tormenting. What was I to do past midnight in a small town to satiate my desire for change?

Rather than stay in and accept defeat, I slipped on my shoes, pushed the front door open, and started walking. With no destination in mind, I paraded north. A block and a half later, I stopped at a well lit intersection. A road to the east led to the southern parking lot of my old middle school. Next to me, a street lamp illuminated big black letters on a yellow sign that read, “Dead End.” I laughed, how poetic. A handful of thoughts left my mind before I could linger on them. I won’t be traveling down that road anymore. I continued walking, wondering if I was the only one in town wandering its empty streets so late.

As I continued onward I found myself taking the same route I had taken countless times as a child to my old elementary school. It brought eerie feelings from a time when I was a powerless child, when many adults in the community were too concerned with the upkeep of their overbearing temperaments to positively impact our young lives. It was like walking through a time capsule. Everything was as it had been a decade ago, causing so many latent memories to emerge: a stretch of road that had no shade on hot days; an uneven sidewalk that made for first-rate bicycle ramps; a busy intersection that had seemed so perilous to us; the small old church we peeled paint off of; the place where an old acorn tree used to be (the same place where a friend stole my Silly Putty before pedaling away in nervousness); an old fence notorious for delivering splinters; and finally, childhood indoctrination ground zero.

The church building I had attended from age eight to seventeen was only a block away from my elementary school. As I approached it, the only words I could force out were, “There’s the lie.” I sat on the curb next to the building to take off my shoes and massage my feet. I sat baffled at how underrated my life had been because of the church.

As I got on my feet and circled the perimeter of the building, more memories surfaced: All of the silly Sunday school lessons about giant boats, floating cities, and Jesus’s magic tricks; waiting in the car each week while my mother gossiped; being the first member baptized in the new ward; mischievously playing with the equipment in the clerk’s office; all of the ridiculously dumbed down priesthood lessons; and all the members in my ward whom I shared nothing in common with.

Somehow, remembering all those things allowed me to stamp out a part of my past that was still oppressing me. By the time I got home, I was more restless than before, but for a different reason. I don’t know how else to explain it, but I had an urge to run through endless wild fields. After lying on the wet grass in the backyard and staring at the sky, I poised myself, grasped for a moment at the soggy earth below me, and dashed to the front sidewalk. In my mind I ran free for hours.

I welcome the restless nights to come.

Equilibrium

2006-05-22T01:38:00.001-06:00

I watched Equilibrium for the first time since my disaffection. It’s a movie set in a post World War III future where feelings have been outlawed due to their volatile nature. The citizens of Libria inject Prozium, a drug that blocks human emotion, at regular intervals. Those that are guilty of “sense offense” are hunted down and executed by the Grammaton Cleric. At the root of it all is the Tetragrammaton, a government that maintains peace through propaganda and brutality.

John Preston, the main character of the story, is a key member of the Grammaton Cleric. He, like other citizens of Libria, isn’t capable of understanding how meaningless life is without emotion. Only when he stops taking his regular interval of Prozium does truly know.

Mormonism is like Prozium. It is a drug that stifles happiness and freedom, but unless you stop taking your intervals, you can’t possibly hope to understand how Mormonism is voiding your life. “Because you’ve never done it, it you can never know it.” If you stop dosing yourself, you risk the Grammaton Cleric revoking your eternal life.

Within the church, I spent far too much time waiting for a better day. Like the people of Libria I existed simply to continue my existence. I wasn’t really living my life, nor did I have command of it. When you live your life like that, “Breath is just a clock, ticking.”

There are so many striking parallels in the movie, but I don’t want to spoil it. I would rather you watch it yourself.