Monday, July 23, 2007

Sensations Experienced: Floating and Cognitive Dissonance

I will finally lull away in a moment of peace and contentment when an aporetic neuron misfires in my overactive brain. All of my emotional attachments jumble and intermix yet again. My mind's lucidity is challenged as I frantically skim the history of my moods and experiences, searching for new concepts out of a storm where no one answer seems more correct than the others. Uncertainty, the rudest of awakeners, faces me, and I cannot direct myself to flee from its demoralizing presence. Attractive and devastating, we are now eternally intertwined. Damn this live reprogramming!

Friday, January 12, 2007

Sensations Experienced: Apostrophe

For years you drenched me in it—your embryonic deceit. You fed me the devices of fear and groomed me for torture. You corroded what was meant to be MY life. You showed me the ease of defeat. I was your vainglorious martyr.

Now, I live as a doppelganger. No matter how much I push, how much I scream, how much I fight, no matter how far I run, you are always there, stealing my reflection. You are in the variables of circumstance I cannot control. I am not so mismatched, but you make singularity my curse, whispering away all that matters, brutalizing me from the core. You are the nightmare in my dreamscape.

Monday, January 08, 2007

Resignation

No less than an hour ago, I made it final. I can feel my priesthood powers diminishing already as my resignation letter waits exultantly in the outgoing mailbox outside of my apartment. Using the excellent sample letter provided by MormonNoMore.com, I drafted my own letter. Though no one of significance in Salt Lake is likely to read it, I gave the church a message of its worth to me:

“This insensible, fairytale organization of vain sacrifice has ceased to be of service to me. I can no longer will myself to deliberately invest my conviction in the establishment of disparaging lies, nor do I possess the prospective wherewithal to desire such limitations in the future. Hence, I am the sole proprietor of my mind and agency, and no religion or religious figurehead will maintain otherwise.”