Sunday, August 20, 2006

Sensations Experienced: Love

Love, if that’s the word for it, is what you feel when you want more than anything to open up and give of yourself. The feeling spreads throughout your entire body. It feels as though you truly comprehend the purpose of existence. You see and love the beauty in every facet of every living thing. You completely cherish the beauty in every imperfection. It feels like a deluge of energy from a never ending source. It fills your frame so fast and so much that you get choked up, your heart swells, and you begin to tremble. The feeling grows and grows as you want more and more to give the feeling to everyone and everything around you.

Tears begin to flow when the feeling grows stronger. You cry because the internal commotion is more potent than the sensation of realizing the perfect dream has come true. Every fantasy you have ever played out in your mind is overshadowed by a limitless source of true happiness. The longer you are overwhelmed, the more you feel like you could collapse, but you don’t. You can see through all the barriers of fear and hate that we as human beings put up.

It’s a feeling to live by. There’s nothing to lose because of what you gain in extending it to others. Now, if only we could learn to stop exploiting it, fearing it, and playing it like it’s a game.

Deus Ex Machina

In ancient Greek theatre, actors playing as gods were lowered onto a stage using a wooden crane. They would enter the plot as a way of fixing seemingly impossible problems. As a member of the church, I spent far too much time expecting the unexpected plot change. Maybe somebody would care enough to react to my apparent downward spiral, or maybe I would die tragically young in a terrible accident. Whatever it was, I was waiting. Waiting makes for a pitiful existence. It is reliance on miracles that causes people to lose hope. “Why, oh why can’t I have just this one miracle? Am I not entitled?”

Think about a time when you were the unexpected delivering force. You may have whisked an animal out of harms way and cradled it in your arms to comfort it. You may have stepped in and helped somebody in dire need. If you are recipient of such an unexpected arbitration, it can feel like a gift from some supernatural force. It’s no wonder that people say God is watching out for them.

Miracles are not indicative of a divine presence.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Sensations Experienced: Tremors

Awake too late I tremble, my body unable to absorb the remedy. A book of fiction in my hands, that I might escape reality. My eyes tracing the width of the page, back and forth, but the only words I read are the words placed in my hands. A lamp is on, not to scare away the monsters. Out of a shattered trance I fade, losing its balmy embrace. The words bring no more comfort.